A Life Taking the Stairs

I talk a lot about how this disease has changed me.  (Sorry if you get sick of it…I do not mean to be repetitive.)  It just slaps me in the face sometimes.  Today I had an appointment with my gastroenterologist.  Upon leaving I just felt so weary.  Tired of tests…which of course there are more of.  Tired of surgery….which I hope there is at least a break from.  Tired of the whole process of being “sick”.  I kinda just felt sorry for myself. 

Then a few things happened.  I remembered seeing a young woman walking into St. John’s with me. She walked with a cane as she struggled with a set of hips that you could see were misaligned and fighting her each step.  This woman not only was smiling, but was even getting ready to take the steps instead of the elevator in the parking garage.  I am sure she has had bad days, but today she was inspirational as she just kept moving and taking on the next challenge that was in her path. 

Then as I approached the car I was reminded how this disease may have taken away how my body functions, but it has also changed my heart.  It has been softened.  I appreciate things, in ways I have never appreciated them before.  I see life differently.  I see people differently.  I understand the power of words like I am sorry…without having to add a but. 

I think through this I have become more gentle.  I have learned to handle situations in love…..instead of just fighting to be right.  (That was a huge issue for me!)  I am far from perfect, but God has used this to mold me, to refine me.  How can I not accept this?

All in all I want to be the girl taking the stairs.  I don’t want to settle for the elevator ride….the steps may be harder, but the journey changes you!